|An early benefactor of coercive acclimatization. Image: Kevin Jordan|
The group of climatologists, all of whom are members on the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC), scheduled the press conference this morning so that it coincided with the 41st annual Earth Day, a holiday that has, since its inception, spread to numerous countries all over the world.
The members highlighted the pertinent research regarding global warming, covering rising sea levels, mass extinctions, and world epidemics with a seemingly apathetic and monotonous tone. Towards the end of the review summarizing the basic scientific ideas behind the theory, the climatologist explaining the material began to mumble and, eventually, walked out of the room while swearing passive-aggressively and declaring he would no longer waste his breath.