Thursday, November 22, 2012

Local Turkey Wondering Where the Hell Everybody Went

An area turkey was reportedly seen wandering around aimlessly today wondering where the hell everybody went.

The turkey, who goes by Marty, says that he has fallen out of touch with many of his friends and family over the past weeks and months, and in recent days has not seen or heard from anyone.

“It’s to the point that I’m wondering if I’m actually supposed to be a migratory bird and no one ever told me,” Marty said to reporters today while not covered in gravy.  “Every year when the leaves change and it begins to get cold all of my peers seem to start disappearing.”

Friday, November 9, 2012

I Voted!: A Story of the Democratic Process

Just wanted everyone to know... (Image)

My plan for casting my ballot on Election Day was simple: I knew the polls opened at 7:00 a.m. and I wanted to be one of the first in line so that I could get in, get out, and get on with my day.  This is my story...

7:08 A.M. – I awake to sun shining through my window and quickly realizing that the cell phone I use as an alarm had likely died during the night, and that my plan to breeze through the day’s democratic process might be completely fucked.